Fret thy not with evil doers, but with my insatiable need to bring my grandmother to the next century of technology.

So there I was sitting on the couch enjoying a disgusting mix of ginger and coffee that I read somewhere in passing helped with bloating , trying to combat my expanding flesh pouch with anything but exercise. My grandmother appeared from the deep fathoms of her bedroom, with a sort of crumpled paper face that she put on when she was either in deep thought or acting like she was listening to something with her utmost attention. She stressed of every minute thing, my mother stressed of every menial thing and I stressed of every small thing, a family hobby, you got better over the years… at the stress.

I inquired half sighing “what’s wrong grans”.

” So I was on facebook” she said. not  facebook again I thought, squinting my eyes and doing that ughhh sound that my ex girlfriend had left me over.

” and…, well come look why do people do this”

So what I noticed were friends or cousins writing her, questions in example grannie can you help me, i’m broke ?!?!??! (that person was as useless as a  hernia in a dead mans asshole) , and she was confused by the exclamation and question marks.

” Oh grans they just mean that a person would like a quicker answer, or that they are somewhat exited by your reply” (Or that they want that money quick, so they can go buy a gram of weed and the new pokemon game)

She smiled that warm hearted smile only a grandmother could and that was that or so I thought. So I had returned to my own abode in another city, when the rain of messages came, and as the old 50 said when it rains it pours. I was riddled with question marks and exclamations. However not together she had thought they could be used separate or should for some reason.

” It’s a nice day !!!!!! ”

” I wrote to your mom today ???????”

” Ate some eggs, and met your cousin !!!!!!”

So at first I was frightened that her Alzheimer’s that she promised me she did not have, had gone nuclear, and this is highly to do with waking up to.

” Hi???????”

” When are you coming by!!!!!”

“Coffee!!!!”

But after my coffee now mixed with some herbs as disgusting as ever, I realized what I had done, I had tried to break the natural cycle of things, grandparents suck at technology, I had played with fire cause I thought I knew better, I had created a ?!?!?! Monster.


Thanks for reading, and let me know about your experiences with grandparents i’d love to hear them and do you agree that technology does not mix with old age and if so how are you going to face the knowledge that one day you will be the one mixing up exclamations and question marks.hide-the-pain-harold

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